Wednesday, January 21, 2015

#walkmyworld on a winter day

Two doors, three views, one world.

Saturday, January 03, 2015


2015 looks to be a significant year in my life. I turn 50 in February. I complete my M.Ed. in May. I will hopefully find a job at a community college and begin work on a Ph.D. I will continue to sing with the Georgia Symphony Choir, will craft and create as time allows, and improve my skills as a photographer. I will continue to run and lift weights to keep me healthy and strong. Daughter #2 will graduate and be on her own. Daughter #3 will continue her studies on the KSU campus. Daughter #1 and her husband will celebrate their third anniversary, and who knows whether they will decide to begin having children of their own?

I intend, as last year's word stated, to be a better friend, a better wife, and a better human being.

All that said, this year really does represent a new identity for myself, and I'm not yet sure what that looks like.

As a student and researcher, I thrive on discovery and innovation. As a parent, I release my children to their own lives, hoping they will find their way home again. As an employee? I don't know, since that teaching position still eludes me. Grandparent? I can't even imagine, especially since Daughter #1 lives five hours away. Friend? I hope to find that balance of companionship and support without falling into my usual habit of pushing away out of fear of rejection. Seems silly to fear rejection at 50, but I do.  I'll keep working on it.

So, in this new season of my life, who am I? What do I want to be when I grow up? This year, 2015, I hope to figure that out. It is a time of change in every possible way. Who will I be a year from now?

We shall see.